Nature Vs the Environment

[lifanonline]

I am a parent, and there is a reason they pull you outside.
Anyone hear of exercise? And how about Vitamin D? As for chores, they feed you, care for you, and not to mention everything they buy for you. The least you can do is help around the house or yard. If parents didn't do all this (and a lot of them don't) I can garuntee that you won't be as succesfull in life as you can be.

@Umbreonna: Those...are sort of considered as bad parents. Spoiling you to priveliges isn't the best way to go, espicially buying you everything you want and letting you stay up until 3:00 AM. That gives you the hint of bossy-ness as you grow older ("I want it now! You said I can have it so gimme!"), excepting way too much from people, and not enough sleep for you to function correctly. Not to mention lack of disipline. They need to teach you that you can't have everything in life.

Even though my child is only about a month old, I still have expectations for her as should you from your parents.

I totally agree, and I'm still a kid! My parents have been strict with me, and I think I turned out pretty well, but as for my brothers, my parents have mellowed out a lot with them, so now my brothers are unruly, greedy, bossy, and have a bunch of other bad habits. They don't understand why they can't have everything they want in life. My parents push me to do well in school, and there's nothing wrong with that. They just want me to succeed in life.

[Umbreonna]

Hey,i was kidding a bit xD i am not so stupid to say I WANT IT SO YOU GIVE ME THAT.yes,i was kidding,but i do have great parents :3 and i am 18 xD so i can take care of myself,and sure,i was kidding...normal persons woodn't let kids under 17 out alone so long and you shood see wehn someone is kidding you xD i must tell this to my bf what you sayd xD kidding... so that was kiding,we are DONE with that! ok?

[Nilan]

My parents are great and if they hadn't raised me how they did i would be so much worse than i am! Obviously i get annoyed at them, not because they stop me doing what i want as much but more i sometimes feel patronised. But i'm glad i have the parents i do!

[TxCat]

Mod note: A reminder - topics need to lend themselves to serious discussion, not just bashing of the subject or casual conversation. One line comments and jokes are NOT acceptable here in the HoS!

To get the topic on track:

1) What things have your parents done which you consider good parenting skills?

2) What would you have them do differently and why?

3) If you're planning on children yourself, how do you plan on parenting them? Will you use any of the rules, restrictions, and disciplines your parents used for you? Why or why not?

4) Is parenting necessary? If so, why? If not, why not? If you consider yourself capable of taking care of yourself without parental supervision (or, for those of us who are grown, without parental advice), how do you do it?

5) Have you thought about what will happen to your parents when they get older? Will you provide for them or help them make arrangements if the time comes when they can't or won't take care of themselves?

6) Just how valuable IS it to have a parental figure available throughout one's lifetime?

7) Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Why or why not? What would you do differently? Do you think you'll ever have a good relationship if you don't? Is there ever a time when you think you might want a relationship of any sort with your parents?

8) What do you think happens when there's no parental authority present at all in a child's life? If you grew up that way, how did it affect you?

[Pink]

Hey,i was kidding a bit xD i am not so stupid to say I WANT IT SO YOU GIVE ME THAT.yes,i was kidding,but i do have great parents :3 and i am 18 xD so i can take care of myself,and sure,i was kidding...normal persons woodn't let kids under 17 out alone so long and you shood see wehn someone is kidding you xD i must tell this to my bf what you sayd xD kidding... so that was kiding,we are DONE with that! ok?

...
I thought you said you were under 13. And...if you were kidding...why did you post it? It was kinda hard to tell that you were kidding because most of the time it's supposed to be funny. I didn't find anything funny in it.
On another note, I was allowed to walk around the neighborhood alone when I was twelve. I could go all over the state with my older friends when I was 16 alone. And that's because I was responsible and my parents trusted me.
I'm not trying to offend you, and by that post you just made I think you were offended. So I'm sorry.

[Fallingleaf]

I have wonderful parents that don't let me do many things.Now that I look back I realize that everything they did'nt give to me or let me do was better than them allowing me to have or do what ever I wanted.Parents who let their children do anything or have everything have bad parenting skills.

[CreatureOfTheDeep]

I am a parent, and there is a reason they pull you outside.
Anyone hear of exercise? And how about Vitamin D? As for chores, they feed you, care for you, and not to mention everything they buy for you. The least you can do is help around the house or yard. If parents didn't do all this (and a lot of them don't) I can garuntee that you won't be as succesfull in life as you can be.

@Umbreonna: Those...are sort of considered as bad parents. Spoiling you to priveliges isn't the best way to go, espicially buying you everything you want and letting you stay up until 3:00 AM. That gives you the hint of bossy-ness as you grow older ("I want it now! You said I can have it so gimme!"), excepting way too much from people, and not enough sleep for you to function correctly. Not to mention lack of disipline. They need to teach you that you can't have everything in life.

Even though my child is only about a month old, I still have expectations for her as should you from your parents.

I totally agree, and I'm still a kid! My parents have been strict with me, and I think I turned out pretty well, but as for my brothers, my parents have mellowed out a lot with them, so now my brothers are unruly, greedy, bossy, and have a bunch of other bad habits. They don't understand why they can't have everything they want in life. My parents push me to do well in school, and there's nothing wrong with that. They just want me to succeed in life.

I would agree with you, if it weren't for those demons at school trying to eat me alive. I know my parents are trying their best to help me, and I appreciate that, but somedays I just wish they could step in my shoes for one day. I love (most of) my mom's cooking, and I'm grateful for my dad earning money, even if it is a bit less than most jobs pay. I feel so lucky to even have a DS Lite and my somewhat old few video games, and the cash crisis here in America isn't helping us! I swear, every night, I stay up until about 11:00 PM and wake up at 7 half-asleep just because my dad could lose his job any day now. Anyway, my parents were pretty dang good, it's just the school life got to my brain.

[GrowlingCupcake]

1) What things have your parents done which you consider good parenting skills?

a) They provided us (sister and I) with what we needed (and sometimes wanted) in terms of material goods. We never went hungry that I recall, we always had clothes to wear and they were new usually and not hand-me-downs, we always had a house to live in, we always had what we required for school, stationery, etc.
b) They gave us both a love for reading. I double this was intentional but because of how we were raised around books and stories and loving books and stories, both of us enjoy reading a lot. To me, that is important. On the negative side, though, neither of us can not-read. If we're just sitting there, we need to read something. We have been known to read cereal boxes, ingredients lists, and shampoo bottles when left with nothing to read.
c) Thanks to my father, both of us love pets and grew up with pets. I adore the pets we currently have and I am happy that I have no fear of dogs or cats or the like.

2) What would you have them do differently and why?

Everything else xD

Both my parents have a lot of psychological issues. My mother is insane (probably something like schizophrenia from our own diagnosis but no professional diagnosis) but high-functioning. However, she is very manipulative, bitchy, delusional, and the like. She also has a serious thing about playing the victim and being the martyr. For a long time, my sister and I hated each other because of what she told us and we also hated our father and grandmother because of her. Both of us grew up with, still have and are working through a lot of issues due to her, including, in my case, chronic depression which for years was suicidal.

My father has a lot of guilt and depression, among other things. His marriage did not help as he got no emotional support from his mother. While he has mellowed a lot, he was very hot-tempered and prone to hitting when I was younger. He used the model of how he was brought up on us, leaving us with guilt, depression and the like. We do acknowledge that he tried his best, though.

I think if both my parents had gone through counselling for their own issues beforehand and had a good support system in each other, it would've worked out. But the way they are... they could provide financial support. Material things were no problem. But there was no emotional support. We were, and often still are, the ones who took care of them emotionally.

3) If you're planning on children yourself, how do you plan on parenting them? Will you use any of the rules, restrictions, and disciplines your parents used for you? Why or why not?

n/a

4) Is parenting necessary? If so, why? If not, why not? If you consider yourself capable of taking care of yourself without parental supervision (or, for those of us who are grown, without parental advice), how do you do it?

Yes, parenting is necessary.

A good parent/primary caregiver can make all the difference to who someone becomes, how someone becomes and how... mentally stable/healthy/etc. That strong relationship can mean a lot and be very fulfilling, from what I have seen. Children need to have some stability. Hell, pretty much everyone needs some stability but this is important when growing and learning the world. It helps to have someone there to emotionally support, aid social and intellectual growth and provide financially. But really, this applies to good parenting only. Bad parenting? No, thank you. Unfortunately, a lot of parents do not fall into "good".

Well... living without parental advice is easy xD Don't ask for advice!

Personally, I don't ask them for advice unless it is something in their field or something they know a lot about. With things relating to my life, we're very different people and if I wasn't related to them, I would at most be on the level of acquaintance. So really, they're not going to be able to provide advice relating to me and my life. I'd rather ask people who can.

5) Have you thought about what will happen to your parents when they get older? Will you provide for them or help them make arrangements if the time comes when they can't or won't take care of themselves?

We live in Singapore and there's no real retirement scheme here. There also isn't much aid for the elderly as we have maids. The basic concept is "You've got maids so you can keep them in your house! Or they can have their own with a maid!" Knowing this, they have been saving so they can live on their own when they retire and get old. If necessary and able, I may provide them with some financial help. My sister probably will as well.

6) Just how valuable IS it to have a parental figure available throughout one's lifetime?

If good... very. I think I answered this above xD If bad... probably unvaluable.

7) Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Why or why not? What would you do differently? Do you think you'll ever have a good relationship if you don't? Is there ever a time when you think you might want a relationship of any sort with your parents?

With my mother, no. With my father, not good but okay. I think my relationship with my father could improve as I deal with my own issues and depression and as he deals with his as he is slowly starting to do. He does love us, care for us and he does his best to be there even though he has no idea how. I would love to have a better relationship with him. With my mother... I'd like to have no relationship.

[Corvidae]

As for genetic engineering/modification, has anyone heard of the goats they've engineered to produce spider silk protein in their milk? Apparently, it can be used to make bullet-proof vests for policemen.

Probably the mad scientist in me talking, but that is really really cool. Even better than the bioluminescent jellyfish pigs, because it's actually useful.

Oh for a lab and the appropriate knowledge of genetics.

Yeah, but what if you wanted to.... make us smarter, have more brain capacity, and to use more of our brains without burning out the brain?

I don't understand the placement of the ellipsis, but if you want.

If you're talking purely scientifically, we would have to isolate the genes that control brain and skull size, as well as neuron density and chemical production, and tamper with them accordingly to increase brain size. You'd also have to mess with some other things, like metabolism and muscular structure, since a larger head would want stronger neck muscles to support it, and a larger brain would require more nutrients to support. There's also the issue of gestation; even modern human children are born by default premature, because a fully mature human baby's head would be so large it would kill the mother during birth (and probably the child, too). You'd have to engineer females with wider hips and probably larger wombs, or rewire the plumbing entirely so that hip size isn't a problem.

Keep in mind that we have virtually no idea what genes control all of these factors, and with our current knowledge, tampering with them would be very, very bad. Think horrific mutations and most likely cancer everywhere, for the subjects that even survived until birth.

It also depends on the kind of neural advancement you want. The brain has many different sections, each of which concentrates on several types of brain function. If you wanted better long-term memory, you'd enlarge the hippocampus. If you wanted better hearing, as well as better processing of visual and auditory information, you'd probably enlarge the temporal lobe. (Contrary to common myth, humans do use all of our brains, just not all at once. It is physically impossible for any animal to use all of its brain simultaneously, but every part is used.)

It's also current theory that the actual number of neurons doesn't affect brain function; it's the connections between them. More connections means that information travels faster and more quickly; Einstein's brain was no larger than that of an average human, but he had a huge number of neural connections.

We don't want to fiddle with human brain function yet. We really, really don't.

[Imposibibble]

1) What things have your parents done which you consider good parenting skills?
Most times, they anticipate what we need and actually get them before we ask for them. Most times.

2) What would you have them do differently and why?
I wish mine stop expecting us to read their minds. When they have something planned, they never tell us until almost the very last minute. Well, what's stopping us from making plans on Saturday if you don't tell us that some cousin we've never heard about is getting married?

4) Is parenting necessary? If so, why? If not, why not? If you consider yourself capable of taking care of yourself without parental supervision (or, for those of us who are grown, without parental advice), how do you do it?
Of course, parenting is necessary! How do you expect children to learn right from wrong, how to behave [although some parents need to work on this], etc.

5) Have you thought about what will happen to your parents when they get older? Will you provide for them or help them make arrangements if the time comes when they can't or won't take care of themselves?
In my culture, it's considered disrespectful to not care for your parents when they are elderly. So, yes I might be the child stuck with them forever.

6) Just how valuable IS it to have a parental figure available throughout one's lifetime?
I think the presence of parental figures help shape how a child is when he/she grows up into an adult. While they are not aware of it, children learn how to be like their parents in one way or another. If a father is shown to be very caring and affectionate towards his wife and children, the son will learn that THAT is how you're supposed to treat your family when he does have them.

7) Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Why or why not? What would you do differently? Do you think you'll ever have a good relationship if you don't? Is there ever a time when you think you might want a relationship of any sort with your parents?
I have a decent relationship with my parents. I just wish they are a little more understanding how times are different now since when they were our age. For example, cell phones. To them, cell phones are strictly used for emergencies only. Which is why their one cell phone that they share is always turned off.
Or why I refuse to use their one cell phone [whose minutes always expire because it's never used]. My contact list is on MY phone. When people call my phone, they want to talk to ME. They have trouble undestanding that people use cell phones nowadays for far more than emergencies now.

8) What do you think happens when there's no parental authority present at all in a child's life? If you grew up that way, how did it affect you?
I think I may have real-life example of how children are affected.
My cousin's mother is a nurse, his father is in the Navy. Often, the dad leaves for Navy stuff and leaves his wife and son behind. But, the mom is a nurse and sometimes works long shifts and she does not come home for days. When he was younger, a grandparent used to stay with him to feed him, wash his clothes, pick him up from school, etc. When he was 10 or so, the grandparent stopped staying with him because he was old enough to care for himself. They had microwaveable food, snacks and video games to keep him occupied. It turns out, he stopped doing homework and focused on gaming after this happened. He actually had to repeat that grade. His mom is now working day shifts and shorter shifts to keep him on track (he's now in high school). She sometimes still works long shifts but calls home to make sure he's working.

Another cousin has both parents who work in the hospital [nurse and some therapist]. Once again, they take long shifts, graveyard shifts at first. When she was younger, she also had a grandparent stay who eventually left when she was old enough to care for herself [again, around 10 years old]. She is now in high school. They learned a few years ago that she had been abusing OTC medications, having sex, drinking and doing other bad things at that age. I don't know how her family is doing as my family seem to have a fight with them [for unrelated reasons].

In conclusion, I think that without parental authority, kids will steer the wrong way because of peer pressure, media.