Egoism?

[AssassinsCreed]

Please be kind and dont start a fight here.We all have right to think what we will dont we :3



I belive everyone had heard this word somewhere...

Especially in situations when:
*You dont want to share something with someone
* When you have your own opinions about something and someone dosent like it
* When you dont want to help someone with something
* and many,many other things...
* When you dont want to go on vacation to your home-country (if you live somewhere else than the country you had been born in) to visit your family
*when you dont want to talk about your private life
*when you think about what is best for you

My own grandma told me to egoistic person. Why? Because I didnt wanted to show my art for someone. Oh excuse me. I dont like to show them to someone before they are finish and before I decide if I even want to show them to someone. The question is; why should I do it? It is my art after all. I am the owner...I decide who will see them. Cant I have some privacy?

Talking about your private life with your family. great thing isnt it? If I have a girlfriend/boyfriend then it dosent mean I have to tell about it with eveyrone. One of my grandmas friends asked me if I have someone (I belive she meaned boyfriend; the country I come from isnt so... open in homosexualism....).
For the first; I live in Sweden now. i havent seen her in 2 years. I am completly different person now. I hate to talk about myself. Even if I had someone I would not tell her about it... come on... IF I told about it for someone there then the hole city I live in (it is a small city) would new about it. Im not kidding.


So..are you a egoist when you think about what is best for you? What will make you safe,secure and happy later in life? Dont you have right to decide over your own life?
You have the right and power. But it includes to show other people who you truly are and sometimes they
dont accept it. They just want you to be someone you are not...so they can be happy.

Every human have some egoism in them. It is a survival instinct but the human race changed it into something ugly and negative. If you are a egoist,be proud of it .3 (and yes there is probably some lines for it too. But right now we focuse on our own "egoism" if I say so. I am one ;P not big one but enough to survive).



If we did all the things others expect we should do and be the person they will se we would be a living robot...wouldnt we?

[Synchronized]

Er... to be honest, I've never heard someone be called an "egoist" that wasn't self-centered and conceited to the point they drove everyone around them to hate them, because they refused to be polite or decent in the least. They believed they were "special" and didn't have to follow those social rules because it didn't give them exactly what they wanted.

Maybe it's handled differently where you are, but I honestly wouldn't be proud to be called that. It would be like someone calling me a selfish, spoiled brat.

[Niverdia]

We're all egoists to some point or another. A person can't expect to proceed in their lives if they spend time constantly going out of their own way for another person's gain. I think it's a matter of striking a balance between doing what's best for you and avoiding consciously harming others.

Ugh, where I live, it, too, is quite common to emotionally blackmail a person calling them egoistic when they refuse to do another's will. It usually happens to people who are generally seen as being vulnerable/shy and, therefore, potentially exploitable. Of course, in some cases, like when someone is obviously greedy and inconsiderate to others, they should be given a few slaps, but when it's about things like showing my art (or, heck, making free art for someone who just asked if I could do it), talking about my private life or having my own plans, or voicing my opinion, I'm not going to feel guilty about that. If the other person can't handle that, I'm not going to feel sad about them going away from my life.

[AssassinsCreed]

We're all egoists to some point or another. A person can't expect to proceed in their lives if they spend time constantly going out of their own way for another person's gain. I think it's a matter of striking a balance between doing what's best for you and avoiding consciously harming others.

Ugh, where I live, it, too, is quite common to emotionally blackmail a person calling them egoistic when they refuse to do another's will. It usually happens to people who are generally seen as being vulnerable/shy and, therefore, potentially exploitable. Of course, in some cases, like when someone is obviously greedy and inconsiderate to others, they should be given a few slaps, but when it's about things like showing my art (or, heck, making free art for someone who just asked if I could do it), talking about my private life or having my own plans, or voicing my opinion, I'm not going to feel guilty about that. If the other person can't handle that, I'm not going to feel sad about them going away from my life.

Im not feeling sad for that;P I had done some request for other people I dont even know IRL. I was just shocked that someone from my own family would call me a egoist. If my grandma thinks I will come on vacation to her this year then she is completly wrong. Im done with it... we usually are there only 2 weeks but after that 2 weeks Im completly broken and stressed out. its not a vacation; it is a torture...

And yes,there is people who should get a slap.

[TxCat]

We want to be careful in this discussion that we're actually discussing something and not just ranting. Maybe explain what you personally define as egoism/egotism and ways it is healthily or harmfully expressed?

So..are you a egoist when you think about what is best for you? What will make you safe,secure and happy later in life? Dont you have right to decide over your own life?

For clarification, an egoist and an egotist and egoism/egotism mean different things here in the US. An egoist is someone superconfident, someone who knows what they want out of life and isn't afraid to pursue it. Egoism is defined as that and, in some cases, a metaphysical movement dealing with the development of self.

Egotism and an egotist, on the other hand, have negative connotations. This is someone who thinks only of his or her own needs to the exclusion of all else and does not care whether or not others are hurt by his or her actions.

The first, I think, is a healthy attitude if properly developed. In Neo-Pagan circles, looking after oneself is discouraged. We're constantly told that we may not benefit from our own endeavours, whether magical or mundane. I simply don't agree. If you cannot take care of yourself first and foremost, you will have neither the energy nor the resources to take care of anyone else. If you're bleeding off your own energies in order to improve others' lives, eventually you're going to run dry and burn out. Care of the self and consideration of the self are, I believe, essential to creating a healthy and whole human being.

The second is a real problem. I have known successful businessmen who have forgotten friends, family, and even spending time in hobbies in order to pursue their professional goals. They are absolutely unbearable to be around because they literally have no consideration for everyone else. An egotist ultimately ends up lonely, unfulfilled, and alone. The human psyche, I think, needs a variety of interactions and if the sole focus is upon yourself at all times you miss out on that.

I don't believe that egoism applies in the situations listed by the OP. Instead it looks like emotional blackmail, the fact that someone in the family wants something and sees a way to make the person go against his or her wishes. No one wants to be seen as that inherently selfish and one of the big problems with society as a whole, no matter to which country you travel, is that looking out for the self is seen as a bad thing or a character flaw.

To me, the Self comes first because unless I am whole I cannot possibly take care of others' needs.