The Moonshift Lounge: Muses of a Mind Long Lost - Critiques?

Creatures · Post by **Inkeyu** » July 3rd, 2018, 6:29:11 pm

I'm wanting to start a youtube channel, but I am not sure what to start with. I know I'm going to vlog about things that matter to me, but I don't have a good intro. I need to brainstorm. However, I also have to clean the house, finish fixing my new beta tank, walk dogs for extra money, and walk my own dog. It doesn't help that the swamp cooler doesn't seem to be working, and I can't take off enough layers to cool down (skin sadly can't be removed). Ugh. It's a day. And tomorrow is the 4th of July and I'm going to be out all day with family and friends. I'm at a bit of a loss. Anyone out there able to help with anything maybe? XP

Creatures · Post by **Inkeyu** » July 5th, 2018, 2:18:37 pm

I nodded, unable to say a word to him, and gently placed my hand in his. It was soft, and warm and somehow still strong. He pulled me close in to him and placed his hand around my waist, pulling me into a waltz. He was easy to follow, partially because I couldn't seem to focus on anything but his eyes and smile. He seemed to be a very dichotomous man. His face was both devious and kind, his eyes lustful and understanding, and his touch was firm and gentile. It fascinated me. "Mr De'Valle, I--" He interrupted saying "Please, I already told you to call me Deavon." His large lips smiling broadly. "R-right. Deavon, I...I shouldn't be here..." His expression changed to that of nearly mocking concern.
"Why is that my dove?"
"I...I was kidnapped...I don't belong here..." It shocked me, I had no reason to trust this man, but somehow I was telling him this. What was it about him? Why did I feel the need to share this with him? Regardless, I couldn't seem to stop myself from talking frankly to him.
"Oh pretty feathers, you're not alone. There are many who were. You may grow to like this life. After all, are you now not engaged?"
"No! I hate him. He terrifies me. And....I....don't even want to think about..."
"No need to say more." He put a hand under my chin and lifted it to look up at him again, my blush returning with a vengeance. "If you wish, perhaps I can help you leave this place. I have many resources and much wealth. Perhaps we can work something out."
I nodded, not sure what else to say other than half whispering a small "thank you." He released my waist and my chin, bowed to me. My brain running a bit behind from the shock, it took me a second to realize what he was doing before I curtsied back. He smiled at me before disappearing into the crowd. I stood there, awestruck for what seemed like forever before floating to a table at the side of the dance floor and sitting down. What just happened? Why is my heart racing?...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Creatures · Post by **Inkeyu** » July 9th, 2018, 2:49:00 pm

This is a list of the things I am passionate about and have interest in.

Interests
The things I want to learn/learn more about

Spoiler

1) Flowers
2) pet care
3) survivalism
4) making and mixing music
5) Building business
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)

Passions
The things I get heated about.

Spoiler

1) FISH
2) Pit bulls
3) not making assumptions
4) baking/cake decorating
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)

Creatures · Post by **Inkeyu** » August 6th, 2018, 5:28:24 pm

You know, more often than not, this tends to turn into a practice for wpm. Currently I'm up to average 64 wpm, which isn't bad for being a bit out of practice, though that's when I'm reading and retyping what is shown to me. I think I'm a little bit faster when I am just typing from my own brain. So for this, I hope you will consider asking me for writing. I find I tend to be better at writing than I do speaking, but I have yet to have anyone commission me for stories or poetry. It would be fun to find out how well I'd do with either or both. I promise, I'm not expensive.

Creatures · Post by **Inkeyu** » October 12th, 2018, 12:36:21 pm

You know, this is why people don't want to help anymore. Because rational, adult, conversations can not be had anymore. It's all about peoples' indignation and assumption. Someone stands up and goes, "I want to help, and I have an idea how." and people jump on them and get pissy. "That's a horrible idea! You're stupid and are against the people you want to help!" is the response now. Which is why people don't protest. It's why people don't want anything to do with helping minorities, or groups that are treated unfairly. That's how we got a racist, sexist a**hole for a president! Because people stopped caring about the people who profess to need help, who jump down the throats of anyone who wants to help. How can you ask for help and then when it's offered, in a different way than you believe it would help, just attack the person offering help? Like a homeless person stabbing you for offering them food. How can you ever ask anyone for help, ever, if when they do offer to help, you treat them like shit?! It doesn't work that way.

Creatures · Post by **Inkeyu** » November 4th, 2018, 10:54:26 am

Warning: Some censored swearing and a long rant

Spoiler

I feel left out of everything. All the time. Everything. I feel like I have NOTHING in common with either of you. Like I'm on the outside of this whole dynamic, looking in, but unable to do anything or say anything. Every time I try to talk about things that are bothering me, more often than not I get "yeah me too" responses and exasperated expressions. So I bottle everything up. I don't say anything. Because it's all just my paranoia right? Except for nothing changes. Nothing is getting better, everything is getting worse. I feel like all I am is a burden and someone to be 'dealt with'. I try really hard not to do the things that drive you guys crazy, like things Kaleb does. But it doesn't matter. All I want is to be myself, and I feel like all that is doing is pushing everyone away, just by being. Just by existing. I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough. And I try really f**king hard not to feel that way because you both are constantly saying that I am, that I matter, but the only reactions I get are annoyance. Wtf am I supposed to do with that? I express a concern, annoyance or exasperation, or evasion. I don't express a concern, you guys know I'm not doing great and want me to talk about it, but I talk about it and you get annoyed or exasperated. So I hold it all in until I explode and then I'm a pariah because I finally express everything, and so I feel like SH*T for DAYS after, AND it makes my paranoia and depression worse, because I feel alone. Like I don't have anyone to turn to or to talk to, and like all I do is hurt and burden people. That is how I feel, constantly. And I have NOTHING I can f**king do about it, because no matter what I do, it doesn't work or it makes things worse. I'm at a complete loss. I feel disconnected. I feel like all I want to do is tear my own heart out again so I don't have to feel like this, but I swore to myself that I would never do that again. I don't have anything or anyone to help buffer these feelings. I don't have you, or Chey, or Haku, or Joy, or Binx, or Lady, or Mara, or Amigo. I was here taking care of Haku, dreading the day that Marlene would take him. Every day, trying not to let that cause me more anxiety. I try so flipping hard to not let things bother me, or set me off, or anything. But I can't ever express my emotions to you guys without getting a shitty response, that only makes me want to keep it all inside. When I get even the tiniest bit annoyed with anything, I'm fucking treated like I'm being completely unreasonable. So I've stopped expressing the big things, because if that's the response I get for being a little miffed about my computer being stupid, then how the heck can I talk about the fact that I feel left out of the entire relationship, including my own marriage?! You guys constantly tell me to talk to you, and consistently give me the same f**king reactions when I do. I feel like I can't trust you guys to just help me deal with this, without being treated like an idiot for it. Why the f**k do you think my paranoia and anxiety are so bad?! Because I have no one to talk to any of it about. I feel like I'm insane and trying to live with being insane without any help. You touch or kiss her before you do me, all the time. Almost every time. You want me to be more forward about sex and whatnot, but I feel unwanted.

I know you guys can't do this, but we need a vacation...all of us...from everything...more than just a couple days here or there...I need to get out into nature...I need to not worry about hurting people...and I know you both need to not have to worry about anything for a while.

Creatures · Post by **Inkeyu** » November 4th, 2018, 11:26:40 am

Continuation of the above

Spoiler

I feel like all of my complaints and issues fall on deaf ears. And a lot of times, the things you get angry about are things you, yourself do. Like being negative. When you are, I let it be because I know it's just you expressing how you're feeling. But you constantly get on me about it. It's only one example of many like that. I feel like I'm the butt of a lot of jokes too. I felt like the plug last night was one, and when I put it away, you both looked at me like "here we go again" or "well the joke's over now" or like "uh huh, I'm sure it wasn't comfortable, whatever you say". Far too often I feel like a stranger in my own home. I feel like I'm not wanted, nor needed. I feel like for every one thing I do right, I do 5 more wrong. I don't know what to do anymore.

I constantly feel sick, and depressed, and anxious, and paranoid. I .... I'm exhausted.

Creatures · Post by **Inkeyu** » November 12th, 2018, 10:24:53 pm

Sometimes I just...can't....

I feel forgotten. Like...somehow I matter less...like my tears and hurt don't mean anything.

I try my hardest, and I feel, too often, that it's not enough. That I'm not good enough. Ugh...I want to work out and get back to a healthier weight, but also I just want to eat until I don't hurt anymore. Forget it. Why did I regrow my heart? For this? I......I'm slowly realizing it's not worth it....should I really go back to not feeling emotions, but still faking them?.....should I just grin and bear it? ......do I keep trying, hoping that eventually it will be enough?......I don't know.....I just don't know anymore.....

Creatures · Post by **Inkeyu** » February 2nd, 2019, 5:02:50 pm

WIP

No sooner had I sat down at the table when I heard the chilling voice from behind me. "Did you enjoy your waltz?" My blood ran cold at the question. He reached his arm around me and held a full champagne flute in front of me,

TO BE CONTINUED...

Creatures · Post by **Inkeyu** » February 21st, 2020, 1:28:05 am

Jumping at the sound of the oily smooth voice behind me, I went a little pale just for a moment, before I collected myself and looked up at him. His face portrayed a combination of feelings between jealousy, anger, and suspicion. "Y-yes. I suppose. It was pleasant enough." I looked back down at my drink so as to try to avoid his eyes. His arm still across my shoulders, he smiled maliciously and sat in the chair beside me, his eyes never leaving my face.

"What did he say to you?" He asked, leaning in very close to my own face, examining every single muscle twitch, every eye movement. I concentrated hard not to let my expression give anything away about what had been said. "He asked me about our engagement, and how I felt about it." I kept my eyes on my drink as I spoke.

"That can't be all that you talked about. After all, it wasn't exactly a terribly short song." He searched my face again briefly, before looking into the crowd to find the one I had danced with. Not seeing him, he turned back to me and waited for my response.

"I suppose not. We talked about how he had a surprise gift for our engagement. He wouldn't give me any information past that though." It wasn't entirely a lie, only mostly, but it seemed to convince him easily enough as he smiled widely and cocked an eyebrow up. "Oh? A surprise gift? I wonder what it could be from...him." The last word was said with a little bit of suspicious contempt. "I look forward to seeing what it is. Now, I say it's time for our dance. Wouldn't you agree, my love?"

...To be continued!

MagiStream

The Moonshift Lounge: Muses of a Mind Long Lost - Critiques?

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