Childfree?

[Mcath]

I wish I was not challenged on my decision.

Father sort of doesn't care but expects me to pop out children at some point in the distant future. Mother is all "You'll change your mind!" And a whole bunch of people I have met are all "What? Why? BABIES!!!!!!" I also get a lot of the whole "But don't you want a family and unconditional love?" As a child... I am fully aware that not every parent gets unconditional love.

I figure I will just spoil my sister's future kids

I used to be a nursery nurse which my dad thought was a good idea for work, also I'd know what to do when I had my own children. My first job was in the Special Care Baby Unit at a local hospital for 3 years. Saw the high's of happy familes and despair of those who had lost their child or didn't want their baby. Enough said.

For 20 years I looked after young children in a day nursery with serious needs both physically mentally and socially. Their parents where often too young with no idea about parenting skills and didn't know how to offer unconditional love. They expected the unconditional love from their children instread. After 20 years I was burnt out with a bad back. So took an admin job when it was offered to me and I have never missed working with children.

In the beginning I had compassion for the children in my care and their parents. But after working for 20 years while I still have some compassion for the genuine families, I mainly have become a cynic who been there, seen it and heard all the excuses from those who just want to milk the system.

In all that time I never wanted children of my own. Nobody in the family have said to my face when will you have my own children. I enjoyed spoiling other family member;s children and at the end of the day I'm very happy to send them home and shut the front door and return to my peace and quiet.

I just feel you should be able to live your life that way you want to and if children are not for you then so be it. If you wish to adopt then so be it and if you wish to have older children then the Social Services should recognise this.

Think I'll stop here as I could write an essay on this subject. I just think people should respect other feelings and live and let live.

[kittykatkit35770895]

Mod Edit: Please do not post one line answers in this forum. It requires full thought, thorough reading, and the ability to fully explain your opinions. Also, please read carefully before posting as the thread is NOT about people who have not had children yet but want them. Discussion needs to remain in the vein that the OP intended and stated.

Well, I am child-free since I am still a child and not yet married. But when I am married, I would like to have twins.

[Synchronized]

Child-free. I do not want children, I don't LIKE children(mainly babies), and I will in no way, shape, or form be physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for a child.

- Babies are disgusting.
- Mombies are disgusting as well.
- Pregnancy is also disgusting.
- And so is birth.
- Also, there's a lot of pain involved.
- I'm 19 and don't even have a job for extra cash. I probably won't find a good job anytime soon, either.
- I want to go to college at some point.
- Kids are way too much work.
- Twenty years of child care with about 5 years of "love"? I don't think so. I get more lifelong love from my pets.
- Pets are also cuter and don't drool, poop, and barf all over everything.
- People view pregnant women/babies as "public property". Belly-touching and kid-touching is apparently fair game. So is bitching to you about what you should and shouldn't be doing(regardless of whether it's right or wrong). Noooo thanks.
- I want to buy nice things for myself, not dependent poop machines.
- No stable relationship? Never had one. No reason to have a kid with anybody, anyway.

Also, I realized one day, as I lay in bed cringing in pain over my period and halfway between poisonous bowel movements and vomiting from pain, that cramps... are miniature contractions. Mine are bad enough that they floor me. Do I want to go through that on a hundred times more painful scale while gaining fifty pounds? NOPE.

[kinatora]

I want to be a mom but i know i can't be one right now.

1. Don't have a job
2. I have a temper still
3. Not married
4. Non supportive family
5. Not able to help with school
6. Unstable Home
7. Fear of birthing a fatherless child (Like I was and currently don't even want a father figure anymore)

As for the unconditional love it doesn't always come from animals either. Animals wil turn on you if they since darkness from you. If you want unconditional love you too should show it. Nature will give you that smack to the face to let you know that you are not above following the rules either, and that you should be respectful if you want any respect. The only reason a child lashes out is if the parent isn't doing a good job. Me and my mom weren't close at all so i was pretty much stuck with raising myself. Read the spolier for the rest.

Spoiler

At only 6 years old there was a younger cousin looking to me for guidance already. Children are more forgiving than others seem to realize i was treated like s*** as a child not only by many of my elders but by the teachers in the school system but i turned out quite well. Children these days would rather prefer to take care of their own porblems instead of running to the mother and father. They only do that as a last resort. So they are rather independent.

As someone who was hated for being a child I don't see the point in disliking or hating children just for being children that seems so useless to do so. Life is too short so stop hating and show some love for goodness sake.

As for school conditions, well if adults would stop wanting everything to be done so quickly and using so much money and highly advanced technology then kids wouldn't have to learn so quickly and the parnets needing to spend so much money on school supplies. As an adult you can pay your way out of responsibility or depending upon who your contacts are you can do anything you want to anybody you want and unfortunaltely kids are targeted because of who their parents are. My parents and uncle acted up in school quite horribly and my father was how shall we say "loose" in a dirty way and because of that I was the main target for teachers and students abuse. In other words their misdeeds backfired on me just because I was related to them. Adults can pretty much do whatever they want to kids and get away with it because of contacts or wealth. So with that said I just want to keep any other generation of children from worrying about the same h***ish nightmares that me and my friends went through.

[GrowlingCupcake]

I am finding some people are not completely clear on what childfree is so I thought I would explain. I'll also edit some links and a small definition into my first post so that it is clearer.

Childfree is not about having no children now but wanting them later. It is about not wanting children at all, more or less.

For fencesitters, a term that I have seen several using is "undecided with no kids".

Edit: I saw that a mod (wolf?) has already edited in the definition so just the links xD

[kinatora]

I am finding some people are not completely clear on what childfree is so I thought I would explain. I'll also edit some links and a small definition into my first post so that it is clearer.

Childfree is not about having no children now but wanting them later. It is about not wanting children at all, more or less.

For fencesitters, a term that I have seen several using is "undecided with no kids".

Edit: I saw that a mod (wolf?) has already edited in the definition so just the links xD

Oh I got what you were saying and I know my post was dark but it seemed to me that alot of people just viewed kids as a disease. I hope you didn't mind me posting what i did those same bad things they say about kids were said to face as a child so I had to say something because those old emotions came back. No my feelings weren't hurt my rage came back for a while so I hope you didn't mind.

[ShaiNeko]

Childfree and planning to stay that way. I like kids. In small doses. I enjoy babies and toddlers, especially when I can cuddle with one and read or nap. But as for wanting any of my own, no. I just don't have the desire to change my life to fit the needs of a child.

I was a teenager when I first decided I didn't want kids. My mother laughed and said I would change my mind. That was 12 years ago. Two of my siblings have children, and watching how their lives have changed to take care of their children had just confirmed my decision. I'm selfish, lazy, and I have a nasty temper if you get me angry enough. I don't have the kind of patience needed to take care of a child day in and day out. So no children for me.

[Tereghan]

I really like that term "undecided with no kids." I'm really leaning towards childfree, and have a lot of my life. Heck, even my own mother has kind of said she's not sure I'm cut out to be a mom (not meanly, but when I said I probably didn't want kids she said that was a good idea). There are a ton of reasons why not, most of them already mentioned in this thread. I had to get an automatic fish feeder because I kept forgetting to feed them. Thankfully, my cat is very vocal in the morning when he's hungry, or I might forget that too. I'm worried I might starve a small child to death. I think a lot of it might be coming from everyone constantly badgering about getting married and having babies, as if one necessarily follows the other.

On the other hand...

My boyfriend is really great with kids. He's going for his teaching credentials and they just respond to him like their own parents. At least with this one I'd get some sort of help with any potential future kids. Right now he sort of shares my views, but he's expressed a want of children of his own in the past. Adoption is wonderful, but it can take up to two or three years (or more) of red tape and stress, and even then it's not guaranteed. Adopting a kid isn't like getting a dog, it can seriously mess a kid up for the rest of their life if you decide to send them back. My genes might have some issues, but his are mostly fine and the rest of my family is more healthy than I am.

There are some issues that are hard to ignore though, like overpopulation and my getting bored with kids after an hour or two. They're cute and all, but I have no desire to be around them for long periods of time. I think it's going to take a few years to figure out which facets of that are me trying to be independent and trying to establish my own personality and which are just already part of my personality.

[Synchronized]

Oh I got what you were saying and I know my post was dark but it seemed to me that alot of people just viewed kids as a disease. I hope you didn't mind me posting what i did those same bad things they say about kids were said to face as a child so I had to say something because those old emotions came back. No my feelings weren't hurt my rage came back for a while so I hope you didn't mind.

Not everybody views children as a blessing on their lives or have good things to say about them. Childfree people generally don't view children as god's gift to the world to be worshiped and have the ground they walk on kissed. They're generally busy with their own things/don't care/don't like them.

[TxCat]

They're generally busy with their own things/don't care/don't like them.

Busy with my own things? Certainly. But it's not true that I don't like children. I enjoy children in small doses, and I adore my godchild (my beloved's three month old son). However, I recognize in myself a shortage of something and know that shortage would lead to the abuse or death of a baby if I were to have one of my own. I'm intolerant of creatures who cannot verbally express their needs when I know they will be able to do so later; I'm impatient and don't want to figure it out.

I love seeing a clean, quiet, well mannered child though and will tell the parents so. I'm also thankful for small kindnesses, many of which come from children. One little guy, while his parents were busy laughing and joking about how fat I was, held open the door for my wheelchair. He then told his parents, quietly but firmly, "You're rude. That wasn't nice. She needed help."

When I'm out with my service dog, it is more often the children rather than the parents who will tell the adults around them not to touch or distract the dog. Sometimes the kids have better manners than the parents.

Point is, while I don't want them myself as long as people are respectful of that wish and don't try to force their own choices on me I am okay with it. If, however, you're one of those who thinks you should be worshiped for the mere act of being able to reproduce and you're shoving baby pictures or your belly at me, I am going to let you verbally have it...with both barrels.