Childfree?

[Brynmala]

wow, Txcat - that's quite some tale, it really sounds like you've been put through the wringer

I too am older than my 20s and have no children. I have no desire to have them. When I was a kid I sort of assumed that I would grow up, get married and have children, but it never really excited me. Then one day when I was at college I got talking to a friend who said that why should women be stereotyped into that role - she had no intention of being married or having children, and somehow that struck a chord with me.

Having gone through two long term boyfriends, and been with my current partner for about 15 years I still haven't found a relationship that I consider stable enough to bring children into. Perhaps I am over sensitive in that way, but I never heard my parents argue once during my childhood and I feel that if I can't emulate that (which I most certainly can't as I have a very short temper) that I shouldn't be a mother. I would be a horrible mother if my reaction to any misdemeanor by the dogs is anything to go by.

Yes, there are times when I wonder what it would be like to be pregnant, or have a child, but I have never felt like I am missing somethign by not being able to join in with conversations about children with friends/colleagues. But I also think that I would resent the loss of my own identity that is apparently part and parcel of being someone's mother - selfishness on my part?

I am an only child, as was my mother. I don't consider that this to be ideal, so I would need to have at least two children, and really I don't want to be starting at my time of life - I'd be retiring about the time they were leaving school. I just haven't got the energy!

And the real killer is that my partner is female... so even if we did want children (and I think she is a bit more interested than I am) it would cause some problems producing one! I have nothing against gay couples having children, but I think the nastiness the child would suffer as a result (and I put up with enough just because I was the only kid with red hair in my class!) would not be fair.

So I remain with four-footed furry 'children' and am quite happy with that.

[Pshawraven]

I am happily childfree, and intend to remain that way. (Anyone wants my ovaries, I'm willing to trade for an unfrozen Coria Alagos! LOL) But in all seriousness, at some point in my teens I decided I did not want kids, and I stuck with the decision.

No one has challenged me much on that decision, either. My Mom doesn't care about having grandkids, and when I was first married my husband suggested once or twice that I might want them, but then promptly forgot about the whole thing. A few people I worked with insisted that I would change my mind, and one even told me it was what women are supposed to do, whether they really want the kid or not. I find that mindset stupid, considering how many unwanted children there are right now.

My former workplace was a housing development outside New Orleans, and I saw way too many young girls - and I mean like thirteen- and fourteen-year-olds - getting knocked up and not even really wanting to have a baby. I don't want to get too deeply into the whole teen pregnancy "thing" here, but you can kind of see, yeah? I believe that just because you can does not mean you should.

I also have no illusions about my parenting skills. Now, I can take care of things. I care for cats, dogs, fish, rodents, houseplants, a garden, etc. On the physical side I can handle it. I am just a horrible example for a child. I cuss like a sailor, hang around the house nude, follow the "30 Second Rule" for food that falls on the floor, and generally don't feel inclined to bother with the needs or wants of a kid. I'm kind of like a big child myself, so I should certainly not be trying to raise any.

Far from feeling unfulfilled or lonely, I'm quite happy with my life and don't see any need to add a child to it. As I'm fond of saying, if I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.

[GrowlingCupcake]

I wish I was not challenged on my decision.

Father sort of doesn't care but expects me to pop out children at some point in the distant future. Mother is all "You'll change your mind!" And a whole bunch of people I have met are all "What? Why? BABIES!!!!!!" I also get a lot of the whole "But don't you want a family and unconditional love?" As a child... I am fully aware that not every parent gets unconditional love.

I figure I will just spoil my sister's future kids

[Imposibibble]

I wish I was not challenged on my decision.

Father sort of doesn't care but expects me to pop out children at some point in the distant future. Mother is all "You'll change your mind!" And a whole bunch of people I have met are all "What? Why? BABIES!!!!!!" I also get a lot of the whole "But don't you want a family and unconditional love?" As a child... I am fully aware that not every parent gets unconditional love.

I figure I will just spoil my sister's future kids

My mom is already buying toys and and baby stuff in the off chance that me and my sisters (one's a teen and the other dislikes kids as much as I do) ever pop out any children. In the living room, there's a big basket of small plushies and a bucket of legos she bought at a garage sale. She even had the balls to call up my sister and "request" a boy because she has lots of baby stuff ready already.

As for unconditional love, that's what pets are for.

Besides, I remember when my mom was pregnant with my younger sister. I was 7. She was HUGE and could barely move around and I get the fabulous job of sponging her belly because she could not reach all the sides to clean it.

[TheDoomPanda]

At this point in my life I am child free (You know, being 16 and all.)

I'm a virgin and I could stay that way until I die as far as I am concerned. I never plan on having kids. I mean not ones that I've had myself. In my opinion the earth has way too many people on it as it is. Plus, what about all those kids out there that need homes? Their birth parents didn't want them but that doesn’t mean no one does.

Overall, if I ever want kids I'll adopt. That child will be raised knowing he or she is adopted and if they ever want to find their birth parents I'll help them out, if not that's okay too. Children can be good but they have to be raised right! I never once cried over a toy I didn't get in the store and hardly disobeyed my mother. My mother is a single mother and I turned out fine. I'm not doing drugs, failing any classes or having sex with everything I come across like many girls at my school whose parents are still together. Anyway, all kids deserve to know they are loved adoption is the way to go!

[KathrynHawkBond]

I Currently Have No Children. I’m Currently Not Married, But Going To Get Married This Year, and We Are Planning To Adopt Children Though. I Think They Are Accepting Of Our Decision. No One Has Asked If We Are Serious Or Only Joking. I’ve Never Been Asked If I Will Change My Mind Later. The Reason We Have Chosen Adoption Over Having Our Own Children Is We Have Medical Problems That We Don’t Want To Risk Passing On To Our Children, Plus I Have A VERY Low Pain Tolerance. At One Time I Did Want To Have Children Of My Own, But With My Low Pain Tolerance We Have Decided Against Having Any Of Our Own Children.

Things Wrong:

I’m Autistic (Have Asperger’s Syndrome)
I Have A VERY Low Pain Tolerance
I Have Hypothyroidism (Low Thyroid)
I Have A Tumor On My Pituarity Gland (Non-Cancerous)

My Fiancé Has Sotos Syndrome

[CinnaminDraconna]

Best Answer - I hate kids

I've never wanted kids, and do not understand why the medical folk won't let me get sterilized.. i'm 50 yrs old for hecks sake, why would I want kids now after not having them when I was younger?

Kids are loud, messy and they smell funny
They ask too many questions... especially WHY? over and over and over
There are already way too many people on the planet anyway
You can't make plans that don't include the kids... even if you get someone to take care of them, you still have to plan around them
Don't even mention how much they cost.... for 18 yrs or more

However, I would never, ever harm a child.. and WILL report the abuse of a child to the proper authorities.. I've done it before, and I'd do it again, including being a witness in court.

[GoldenPhoenix]

Ah this question.
Am I childfree, currently yes, I'm only 17-18.

Do I want children someday... yes. I would like a daughter.
All those difficult things that come with children, I don't mind. Before I met someone I wasn't sure I wanted kids or not, but now that I met him... I want kids with him... his kids.
Does the thought of labor or pregnancy bug me... no.
Do I mind all the running around after them, or the noisiness? No.
I can't say I love kids... but those are not MY kids, if it were my own it wouldn't be an issue.
So yes... kids for me... definitely in the future.

My preference...

[BradTheMad]

Child-free also but not by choice though I do think it's for the best seeing my current position in life plus genetics.
- I got divorced five years ago and I'm still single.
- I'm not the healthiest guy alive so even if I could pass on my genes I'd have to seriously reconsider anyway.
- My financial situations isn't stable due to my health issues.
- I really do not like babies...at all. Love kids but I can't deal with babies. Diapers, nighttime crying, no way to do anything interesting with them and all that jazz...drives me completely nuts! I have plenty of nephews and nieces and that's great testing material(not as harsh as it sounds, still love 'em obviously).

Maybe when life settles down and I get married again adoption will be the right choice for me.

[FantasmicDragon]

Children? No. Just no.

I'm only fourteen so I may change my mind but I still hate children so much because they make too much noise, cause too big of a mess and pregnancy looks like NO FUN at all and too painful! No Children! Besides, we got an overpopulated world anyway. No sense to add more to it.